The Coupledom


Tidying Up The Holiday Mess: The Coupledom Hangover

Blight on the New Year: The ornaments are boxed, the ball has dropped and the seasonal remains of the day have been put away yet there remains some unwanted detritus from the holiday past. Those sticky, hard-to-get-off-the-soles-of-your shoes type of goo where some clash or alienation has occurred, either within the Coupledom or between the Coupledom […]

Coupledom Resolutions Revisited: New Years 2014

New Couples, Veteran Couples: Here are a few suggestions for the ritual of joint resolution that we call the New Year. When the ball drops this even numbered New Year be prepared. Talking Heads: Vow to aim for eye contact when you have verbal exchanges as much as possible. The walking out of or into […]

Bracing For Santa: Holiday Performance Anxiety In The Coupledom

Anticipating Complications: If you notice, as the days darken and talk of turkeys and Black Friday fill the air, that your insides have begun to retract and breathing has become a more shallow affair, perhaps you are suffering from Holiday Performance Anxiety. And if the communication between you and your partner about when to leave […]

Missing Teeth and Bully Wives: Aggression in The Coupledom

Guatemala: I journeyed to Antigua, a Spanish colonial World Heritage city in Central America’s Guatemala, where a family member currently resides. At the steps of a church in partial ruins were a little girl and her mother who were selling votives. I purchased a votive in exchange for a photo of the pair. When I […]

Married to Wikipedia: The Evolving Marriage

The Expert: About a decade ago, I worked with a May-December Coupledom, the wife almost twenty years junior to her hubby, who were at a marital crossroads. The images each had originally held of the other were now anachronistic. The husband seemed trapped in the patriarchal position of most knowledgeable, the decider and the protector. […]

9/11

9-11-01: Eleven years ago today our son was in the second week of his freshman year of high school, our daughter a fourth grader, their grandma marked her 83rd year of life and the world we all depended on ended. Battery Park: I heard the news on the radio driving back from a walk in […]

Note To My Ex: What To Do With All That Stuff

Bitter Twitter: On August 22, the highest trending tweet was #NoteToMyEx. Thousands of tweets spewed across the Twitterverse with such as: I can be happy without you and I’m doing so much better then when I was with you. let’s clarify: you were LUCKY to have me. I was the one settling. So shut up. […]

No, You Are The Problem: Finger Pointing in The Coupledom

Easy Enough: Is there anything easier, almost at any age, than pointing your finger at someone? Towards the end of the first year of life, most babies are pointing at something. And in our final days, feeble though we may be, we still have point-ability. No wonder we stay attached to this skill: it is […]

Personalize This! The Coupledom’s Achilles Heel

The Common Malady: In human interaction, and this may be a character trait unique to our species, there is a tendency to perceive the behaviors and verbalization of others in personal terms, understood as reflecting an attitude, belief or feeling that is about “me”, because of me, or in relationship to me. This tendency of […]

The Coupledom Ambles Towards Seniorhood

A Road Trip To The Future: My Coupledom has recently aged out of its “middle years” and into early Seniorhood. And we are hardly alone as we join the ranks of baby boomers who over the next two decades will be marching forth to take their seat at the table of ultimate maturity. The announcement […]