The Coupledom


Facebook, Welcome to The Coupledom: Managing the Challenge

Facebook, Welcome to The Coupledom: As if couples don’t have enough challenges, Facebook has surfaced to introduce the daily possibility of reunions with soul mates from 7th grade. Witness this New York Times piece on the wedding of Ann Patavino Vincola and Alan S. Votta who at 67, after previous marriages and decades apart, were […]

Depression and The Coupledom: The Secret Menace

The Unacknowledged Intruder: Depression and The Coupledom: The New York Times Sunday Magazine featured a fascinating article on the research of Andy Thomson, a psychiatrist at the University of Virginia. The piece entitled “Depression’s Upside” by Jonah Lehrer discusses research into the adaptive components of depression. Fascinating as the research is, it deals mainly with […]

Valentine’s Day and The Coupledom: Is This a Test?

According to Wikipedia, Valentine’s Day “ is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[1][4] The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius Wait a Moment: Is This a Test? This is the unspoken question spinning inside the […]

Bickering and The Coupledom: Read This Together

Two articles from the NY Times to think about: Therapists Report Increase in Green Disputes More Men Marrying Wealthier Women We are Fighting for…??? Embroiled in battle, couples can tap a useful tool, self inquiry Self Inquiry:  It goes something like this:  “Self, what am I trying to win here?”  If you come up with […]

ToolKit of New Years Vows for Relationship 2010

THIS NEW YEARS EVE, SUGGESTED VOWS FOR THE COUPLEDOM Take Time:  Each day, by email, cell phone or in person, touch base on how your partner is doing.  Be Curious: Just a simple inquiry, how has your day been? No distance or work load or diaper pile is far enough, big enough or deep enough […]

Holiday Mayhem for the Coupledom?

One Big Holiday Down: No matter which holiday you subscribe to, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, Passover, Easter, Ramadan or Kwanzaa, holiday gatherings tap chords of joy and notes of challenge for the best of couples. This is when partners feel pressured to perform at peak, cooking, cleaning, decorating, buying gifts, setting up guest facilities […]

A Couples’ Challenge: Special Needs Children, Young and Adult

SPECIAL NEEDS: The term is used here to include children of any age with medical, emotional and/or cognitive challenges. This will be the first of several posts on this subject A PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL PERSPECTIVE: As a parent of a special needs young adult, and a couples therapist, I see firsthand the impact that raising, […]

Triangle Traps

No relationship is an island unto itself:  There are in laws, children, friends, political parties, neighbors and pets, all of whom can serve up a poisonous stew of triangulation unless a couple is trained to look out for this vile brew. Typical triangulations are: a child and one parent talk negatively about the other parent […]

The Daily Challenge of Reentry

At the end of the work day, whatever the time, be it 6 P.M. or 12 midnight, a couple reunites under the same roof. How that reunion goes impacts greatly on the relationship over time, months, years. This is also true for couples where one partner travels and re entry may occur after a few […]