Infidelity


You Don’t Need The FBI to Out Your Affair: Mechanisms of Denial

Lordy, Lordy: General Petraeus, General Allen, authors, triathlon athletes, West Point, Harvard, Tampa, military hostesses, radiologists, the FBI, a colossal mess for the U.S. And we were just trying to gain some footing after the tumult and havoc of Sandy and Election 2012. Nope, there is no peace for the human psyche when under the […]

Do You Need an Education to Stay Married?

The National Marriage Project: The State of Our Unions is a joint publication of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and The Center for Marriage and Families at The Institute of American Values. I have provided a link to download a PDF of the study above and urge everyone to scroll through […]

The Affair: A Symptom of Marriage Rot or A Rotten Spouse?

Affairs Come In Colors: Not all infidelities look alike. The red-hot mega-media adulteries are not the prototype for most unfaithful Coupledoms. The shades of color for the common household variety of betrayal are in grays, not black, white or red-hot. Yet folks on either side of the betrayal highway feel more comfortable thinking in black, […]

50% Of Us Is Done: Marriage Over?

The Unfairness Factor: One of the more profoundly emotional experiences in couples work is watching the demise of a Coupledom when only one of the partners is “done.” The spouse who wants to keep the marriage alive is outnumbered. Yes outnumbered because it only takes 50% of the vote to emotionally dissolve the marriage. How […]

What Is The Media Doing To Our Marriages?

The Famous Unfaithful: A couple recovering from an infidelity described being rattled by the constant news reports of the famous unfaithful. The upside of the battering ram of infidelity reminders is that the husband is regretful and pained by his actions, which bolsters his commitment to working on his marriage. His wife sees his struggle […]

What Are The Daughters Thinking? DSK, Schwarzenegger, Clinton

Imagine: Can anyone imagine DSK’s lunch with his daughter 17 minutes after he left the Sofitel Hotel and his encounter with a hotel housekeeper? Whatever that moment was in the Sofitel, DSK shifted to dad mode within minutes of being “someone else.” His daughter Camille is a 25-year-old Columbia University graduate student. After her dad’s […]

Addressing “Married, with Infidelities” within The Coupledom

Taking a break from taking a break, I couldn’t resist commenting on a very interesting article in the magazine section of today’s NY Times, Married, With Infidelities, by Mark Oppenheimer, who writes the Beliefs column. (Especially in the light of all the recent conversation about infidelity surrounding former NY  Congressman Anthony Weiner and his Sexting escapades, […]

Levels Of Betrayal: I Did Not Have Sex(t) With That Woman

Defining Betrayal: The over-active Anthony Weiner, whose nimble fingers have twittered him into some pretty deep you know what, has added a new twist to the ever popular presidential pronouncement, “I did not have sex with that woman.” What is infidelity and what grade are these men in when they come up with their personal […]

What Do Your Children Know About Your Coupledom?

Little Pitchers, Big Ears?  Children are sponges. They are meant to be so. Absorbent. It facilitates learning the art of  being human. Parents swell with pride when describing the latest juvenile achievement, seemingly spun from some invisible loom. Yet this sponge-like quality of growing children is recognized by proud parents when it suits us, and denied […]

Should Sandra Bullock Forgive Him? Forgiveness and The Coupledom: What Makes It So Difficult

To Forgive: According to the Oxford College Dictionary, second edition, 2007, forgive is to: “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake.” Stop is the operative word here. Stop The Feeling. How to “stop” a feeling of such magnitude, as if all that was required was a red sign at […]