forgiveness


The Senior Coupledom*: Like the Elephant, Majestic and Scarred

I am impressed by the sheer physicality of a couple who have spent four and more decades married. There is something implacable, massive, monumental, well worn and a bit weary in their presentation. I see them in my office, town events, airports and cocktail parties. Like the elephant whose swaying bulky splendor moves towards the […]

Medicaid Mix-Up But Power! 11-01-11

Waiver Whatever: I took our daughter to her doctor and ran into a bunch of bureaucratic glitches that broke my spirit for the moment. Unfortunately my condition was frightfully contagious and my poor daughter caught it. Bored Yet? Not to belabor the boring, of which I am often guilty, the Doc’s prescription for an antibiotic […]

The Affair: A Symptom of Marriage Rot or A Rotten Spouse?

Affairs Come In Colors: Not all infidelities look alike. The red-hot mega-media adulteries are not the prototype for most unfaithful Coupledoms. The shades of color for the common household variety of betrayal are in grays, not black, white or red-hot. Yet folks on either side of the betrayal highway feel more comfortable thinking in black, […]

50% Of Us Is Done: Marriage Over?

The Unfairness Factor: One of the more profoundly emotional experiences in couples work is watching the demise of a Coupledom when only one of the partners is “done.” The spouse who wants to keep the marriage alive is outnumbered. Yes outnumbered because it only takes 50% of the vote to emotionally dissolve the marriage. How […]

What Are The Daughters Thinking? DSK, Schwarzenegger, Clinton

Imagine: Can anyone imagine DSK’s lunch with his daughter 17 minutes after he left the Sofitel Hotel and his encounter with a hotel housekeeper? Whatever that moment was in the Sofitel, DSK shifted to dad mode within minutes of being “someone else.” His daughter Camille is a 25-year-old Columbia University graduate student. After her dad’s […]

Owning Your Stuff Builds Coupledom Trust

Trust Busters: There are ample ways to mar and maim belief in someone’s regard for you. Trust marring can be as fleeting as overhearing a derisive comment about you, or as weighty as discovering romantic texts and hotel charges. Like the derma that covers our organs, we have muslin-like layers of protection covering our emotions; […]

Should Sandra Bullock Forgive Him? Forgiveness and The Coupledom: What Makes It So Difficult

To Forgive: According to the Oxford College Dictionary, second edition, 2007, forgive is to: “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake.” Stop is the operative word here. Stop The Feeling. How to “stop” a feeling of such magnitude, as if all that was required was a red sign at […]

“Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”: Excuse Me?

The Healing Power of Remorse: In the 1970 movie, “Love Story”, the line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”  became universally famous. The movie, based on the eponymous book by Erich Segal, popularized the concept, furthered bolstered by the pop psychology of the era, that true love required an unconditional acceptance of the […]