Divorce


What Do Your Children Know About Your Coupledom?

Little Pitchers, Big Ears?  Children are sponges. They are meant to be so. Absorbent. It facilitates learning the art of  being human. Parents swell with pride when describing the latest juvenile achievement, seemingly spun from some invisible loom. Yet this sponge-like quality of growing children is recognized by proud parents when it suits us, and denied […]

Maria And Arnold: A Rorschach Test

Separation Tremors: The announcement that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are separating after 25 years married and four children may be sending out tremors beyond the confines of the couples’ California home. What can have gone awry? Mid-life crisis; infidelity; anorexia; male or female menopause; the end of a political marriage matching the termination of […]

Owning Your Stuff Builds Coupledom Trust

Trust Busters: There are ample ways to mar and maim belief in someone’s regard for you. Trust marring can be as fleeting as overhearing a derisive comment about you, or as weighty as discovering romantic texts and hotel charges. Like the derma that covers our organs, we have muslin-like layers of protection covering our emotions; […]

The Divorcing Coupledom: The Art of Uncoupling

In The Beginning There Was A Bond:  When the Coupledom, the domicile of the couples’ relationship, splinters, what can be preserved and what must be discarded? These are daunting questions that deserve deep search and time. Here are a few guidelines  for both spouses to use as they engage in the art of uncoupling. Respecting […]

The Affair: No Moralizing Here

Before; After; Not Yet; Never: Whatever your grouping of the moment, this read is for you. In today’s New York Times Modern Love Column, Wendy Plump pens an honest, metaphorically incisive depiction of an affair in The Coupledom. Having played both sides of it, Ms. Plump knows her stuff. No Moralizing Here? Are you already squeamish […]

The Divorce Survival ToolKit for Children of All Ages

Children of All Ages: For any age group, the ramifications of separation and divorce are felt most acutely at holiday time. Adult children of divorce as well as their younger counterparts struggle with the new regime, the confusing order of things and benefit from a language and vocabulary that empowers them. Locating their boundaries and […]

Divorced: Now What To Do With The Ex-Laws?

Former Mother/Father in Law: Step Children and Step Grand Children: Ex Brothers and  Sisters In Law, Ex Nieces and Nephews: Divorce is the highest stress factor in our culture. Breaking up The Coupledom, the  family and the household, is excruciating. And then there is the mess it leaves behind in the hearts, minds and pocket books […]

The Factor of TIME: Underrated and Overlooked

TIME is a most precious commodity. Yet TIME for the couple to be together is often overlooked and undervalued, each partner rushing to do his or her best at the socially prescribed “role” of parent, employee or community volunteer. In therapy, TIME for the couple is valued, precious, proscribed and imposed. Boundaries are firm and […]