couples toolkit


“Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”: Excuse Me?

The Healing Power of Remorse: In the 1970 movie, “Love Story”, the line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”  became universally famous. The movie, based on the eponymous book by Erich Segal, popularized the concept, furthered bolstered by the pop psychology of the era, that true love required an unconditional acceptance of the […]

Midlife and The Coupledom: Part 2: A Toolkit of Strategies To Make The Midlife Coupledom Work: Prevention for Younger Couples is Key

The Coupledom Through The Life Cycle: Tools are needed throughout relationships to deal with “change”. In the beginning of the committed relationship couples believe that they share goals, values and styles. The notion that personalities remain static is unrealistic. Development proceeds throughout the life cycle. Just as children shift and morph who they are, so […]

Depression and The Coupledom: The Secret Menace

The Unacknowledged Intruder: Depression and The Coupledom: The New York Times Sunday Magazine featured a fascinating article on the research of Andy Thomson, a psychiatrist at the University of Virginia. The piece entitled “Depression’s Upside” by Jonah Lehrer discusses research into the adaptive components of depression. Fascinating as the research is, it deals mainly with […]

Valentine’s Day and The Coupledom: Is This a Test?

According to Wikipedia, Valentine’s Day “ is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[1][4] The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius Wait a Moment: Is This a Test? This is the unspoken question spinning inside the […]

Bickering and The Coupledom: Read This Together

Two articles from the NY Times to think about: Therapists Report Increase in Green Disputes More Men Marrying Wealthier Women We are Fighting for…??? Embroiled in battle, couples can tap a useful tool, self inquiry Self Inquiry:  It goes something like this:  “Self, what am I trying to win here?”  If you come up with […]

To Marriage Therapy or Not To Marriage Therapy

Elizabeth Weil’s clever cover story in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, “Married With Issues” raises three critical questions for all couples:  1. What should couples expect from their marriage/relationship. 2.  How can they tell if it is “good enough” as is or deserves attention.  3. What do they do about it? The answer is […]

Holiday Mayhem for the Coupledom?

One Big Holiday Down: No matter which holiday you subscribe to, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, Passover, Easter, Ramadan or Kwanzaa, holiday gatherings tap chords of joy and notes of challenge for the best of couples. This is when partners feel pressured to perform at peak, cooking, cleaning, decorating, buying gifts, setting up guest facilities […]

Triangle Traps

No relationship is an island unto itself:  There are in laws, children, friends, political parties, neighbors and pets, all of whom can serve up a poisonous stew of triangulation unless a couple is trained to look out for this vile brew. Typical triangulations are: a child and one parent talk negatively about the other parent […]

The Daily Challenge of Reentry

At the end of the work day, whatever the time, be it 6 P.M. or 12 midnight, a couple reunites under the same roof. How that reunion goes impacts greatly on the relationship over time, months, years. This is also true for couples where one partner travels and re entry may occur after a few […]