couples therapy

The Passive-Aggressive Punch: The Silent Code of Anger In The Coupledom

Stalemated and Suffering: When The Coupledom (the domicile wherein the relationship resides) reaches a level of pain and powerlessness as a consequence of countless hurts and misunderstandings, a strange pall descends upon it. Avenues of coping may have been explored: talking, arguing, even seeing a therapist. Perhaps to no avail/relief. Whatever the previous process, couples […]

Weight Gain, Sex, And The Coupledom: Weight Tells A Story

Weighty Topic: In recent days I read an alarming article on newly published obesity statistics nationally, glimpsed a Today show segment on a book about post-its to make overweight folks feel beautiful, and browsed through a piece in The New York Times Magazine on retail’s struggle to provide a profit margin in dressing the overweight […]

Couples Communication: What Are We Teaching Our Children?

Modeling Communication:  Without a doubt, the ticket to Coupledom disaster is best acquired by non-communication. Couples who choose therapy are talking just enough to reach a consensus to get help. Couples who can’t talk communicate with attorneys. What boggles this therapeutic mind is where did these folks learn to “not communicate”?  As a culture, we […]

Husbands Have Changed: Have Wives Noticed?

Time Out to Consider Dad: Saturday’s New York Times (6/19/10), in anticipation of  Father’s Day, published an article by Tara Parker Pope entitled “For Fathers, A Tough Balancing Act”. The article and a similar piece in the New York Times November 2, 2009 by Laurie Tarkan “Fathers Gain Respect From Experts (and Mothers)” inspired me […]

Marriage and The Immune System: Toxicity in the Coupledom

Married Healthy or Married Sick? Over the decades scientific research has suggested that marriage may provide benefits for longevity and health. However, now that researchers have refined their techniques to measure “health” and “stress” in more nuanced forms, the quality of the “marriage” as anyone in a marriage knows, casts vast shades of difference over […]

“Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”: Excuse Me?

The Healing Power of Remorse: In the 1970 movie, “Love Story”, the line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”  became universally famous. The movie, based on the eponymous book by Erich Segal, popularized the concept, furthered bolstered by the pop psychology of the era, that true love required an unconditional acceptance of the […]

Depression and The Coupledom: The Secret Menace

The Unacknowledged Intruder: Depression and The Coupledom: The New York Times Sunday Magazine featured a fascinating article on the research of Andy Thomson, a psychiatrist at the University of Virginia. The piece entitled “Depression’s Upside” by Jonah Lehrer discusses research into the adaptive components of depression. Fascinating as the research is, it deals mainly with […]

To Marriage Therapy or Not To Marriage Therapy

Elizabeth Weil’s clever cover story in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, “Married With Issues” raises three critical questions for all couples:  1. What should couples expect from their marriage/relationship. 2.  How can they tell if it is “good enough” as is or deserves attention.  3. What do they do about it? The answer is […]

Triangle Traps

No relationship is an island unto itself:  There are in laws, children, friends, political parties, neighbors and pets, all of whom can serve up a poisonous stew of triangulation unless a couple is trained to look out for this vile brew. Typical triangulations are: a child and one parent talk negatively about the other parent […]

How to Accept and Enjoy Differences

Couples often are strikingly bewildered by their partner’s inability to feel what they feel and act as they do. It does not easily compute that this person, with whom I have chosen to spend my time, thinks so differently and behaves so “unlike me.” And the “unlike me” is the operative word here. The human […]