There should be no shame in divorce. After all, it is a challenge to sustain a marriage through a lifetime. And the circumstances of each uncoupling is unique to the coupling pair. Yet the wake of pain can follow the players throughout a lifetime, with a residue that impacts children, grandchildren, new marriages and families […]
children of divorce
Why Do Some People Stay? What Can We Learn From Hillary Clinton
I am listening to an audio book called First Women by Kate Browser, which delves into the lives of first ladies from Jacqueline Kennedy to Michelle Obama, providing lots of anecdotes and “insider” information about each of the ladies as well as painting a very interesting portrait of their lives in the White House, a portrait […]
I Don’t Want To Lose My Children
Father’s Day: A Sunday devoted to dad is coming up shortly and my clinical mind scans through father files looking for relevant information. Strangely, one oft-repeated phrase leaps out at me; “I don’t want to lose my children” – something that many fathers have said in my office when facing the possibility of a divorce. […]
Holiday Toolkit 2011: Divorced: Now What To Do With The Ex-Laws?
While this post isn’t specifically about the holidays, it is all about family relationships and dealing with the “ex-laws” after a divorce – which always shows up as a major factor during holiday season. So we are adding it to the Holiday Toolkit in the hopes that it may just help you survive the most […]
The Narcissist’s Stocking Stuffer: A Coupledom Alert
Holidays Coming: How many days to Thanksgiving? To Hanukkah? To Christmas? To Kwanzaa? To New Year’s Eve? Enough to create a big fat Coupledom mess. What are the holidays known for in my profession? Opportunity for families to become combustible, leaving memories scorched with flames. Why? Holidays provide fertile ground for narcissistic orgies rich in […]
The Divorced Coupledom: Milestones Celebrated In Court
Back To Court: Several times a year, whether I am in session with a patient, or bumping into friends, acquaintances or former patients in the aisles of the local supermarkets, the phrase “He/She is taking me back to court,” is whispered to me in tones of distress, anger, irony or weariness. Weariness often more than anything laces […]
What Are The Daughters Thinking? DSK, Schwarzenegger, Clinton
Imagine: Can anyone imagine DSK’s lunch with his daughter 17 minutes after he left the Sofitel Hotel and his encounter with a hotel housekeeper? Whatever that moment was in the Sofitel, DSK shifted to dad mode within minutes of being “someone else.” His daughter Camille is a 25-year-old Columbia University graduate student. After her dad’s […]
Oldies but goodies: The Divorcing Coupledom: The Art of Uncoupling
Jill is taking a break from the blog this week. Here is one of her most popular posts from the past year or so. Excerpt: In The Beginning There Was A Bond: When the Coupledom, the domicile of the couples’ relationship, splinters, what can be preserved and what must be discarded? These are daunting questions […]
The Divorcing Coupledom: The Art of Uncoupling
In The Beginning There Was A Bond: When the Coupledom, the domicile of the couples’ relationship, splinters, what can be preserved and what must be discarded? These are daunting questions that deserve deep search and time. Here are a few guidelines for both spouses to use as they engage in the art of uncoupling. Respecting […]
Divorced: Now What To Do With The Ex-Laws?
Former Mother/Father in Law: Step Children and Step Grand Children: Ex Brothers and Sisters In Law, Ex Nieces and Nephews: Divorce is the highest stress factor in our culture. Breaking up The Coupledom, the family and the household, is excruciating. And then there is the mess it leaves behind in the hearts, minds and pocket books […]