Typically Asked Questions

Do you take insurance?
Yes, I am an out of network provider licensed in Connecticut and New York.

What if I don’t have insurance or have only in network coverage?
If you are interested in working with me, call me to discuss the fee.

How can I be sure you will protect our privacy?
Confidentiality is a basic tenet of the therapist client relationship that I respect, guard and uphold.

What do you consider your assets as a couple’s therapist?
My rapid assessment and understanding of the unique nature of each couple’s needs and my collaborative approach to working with them as a team of three, to achieve their goals.

What if my spouse doesn’t want to come to therapy?
Often one member of the couple refuses to come to therapy. In those cases I begin the work with willing individual, focusing on how that they can address the issues in the relationship. Approaching some of the interactions differently, often that induces the other partner to come in.

Does coming in to therapy mean our marriage is over?
No. Couples sometimes avoid therapy because they are afraid the partner may announce the marriage is over, or that the problems that have been smoldering will blow up in the sessions and end the marriage. Instead, as a therapist my goal is to make the therapy session a safe place in which feelings can be aired and understood, leading to a better outcome. When anger and hurt are expressed clearly and openly in the office, often with the therapist’s help, these feelings can be understood more as expressions of pain rather than attacks, allowing for meaningful exchanges and adjustments.

How long does the couples therapy last?

A typical couples therapy session is 90 minutes. The course of the therapy will depend on the needs of the relationship, the challenges facing the couple.

Sometimes couples come for a period of time, and then return later for a “tune up” when new challenges arise. They use the therapy as a relationship-building tool that they can pick up whenever they feel they need it. In this way there is no “ending” or “finality” or “cure.” Therapy is a tool used when something is needed, as any other service.

How do you work?

I work as a “team of three” in collaboration with the couple. I am the experienced guide who brainstorms and explores with the couple to find the best pathways towards the “change” that is needed. I often suggest strategies and new options to get “unstuck,” at times offering a third option or perspective when they see only two opposing choices or interpretations. Often my presence provides the safety net needed to allow couples to say the things they need to say and to do the work that will ease the strain and move the relationship forward.

My experience and skills are born out of my ability to hear each partner’s concerns and emotions, and “translate” to the other some of these concerns and perspectives. My approach relies on mutual respect between clients and myself, and often shared humor.

How can I be sure you won’t take sides?
That is a good question and one of great concern to couples. As a therapist I have developed skills to listen and understand deeply the emotions and perspectives of others. I can move from one partner to the other and see how each views the situation. I also invite each person to point out at any time if they feel I am siding against them. I have no problem examining my own actions and feelings and am happy to correct any mistakes.

Do you see other family members or friends?
I am open to seeing anyone that the couple feels is important to the goal of the therapy.

Do you work with substance abuse?
Substance abuse is often an issue in marriages and I am comfortable addressing those issues in the couple’s therapy, their impact and the roles each can play to work towards a common goal.

Are you comfortable working with people from other countries?
Yes. I have a multicultural approach to all my work and am alert to the impact of cultural differences in expectations and perspectives.

©jill edelman, L.C.S.W. M.S.W.