Truth Takes Courage


Bully Wives #2 – Am I a Bully Wife?

Publishing a piece on Bully Wives during this momentous chapter in our cultural history might seem grossly insensitive or politically and socially deaf. I actively support the #MeToo movement and am marching in step with the challenges to male dominance and exploitation of women which have brought courageous women and some men to tell their stories, […]

The Affair: A Symptom of Marriage Rot or A Rotten Spouse?

Affairs Come In Colors: Not all infidelities look alike. The red-hot mega-media adulteries are not the prototype for most unfaithful Coupledoms. The shades of color for the common household variety of betrayal are in grays, not black, white or red-hot. Yet folks on either side of the betrayal highway feel more comfortable thinking in black, […]

Finding Love Over Fifty Online?

Can Dreams Come True After Fifty-Two? I am hearing a lot lately about older folks meeting up and partnering or even marrying, happily and in many cases, unexpectedly. Unexpected in that either they had been searching for years with no results, or surprisingly lucky when they began their search to find the perfect mate. Perfect […]

The Coupledom Contract: Who Gets Thrown Under The Bus?

The Costs Of Accommodation: There are many unspoken and even unconscious clauses in most Coupledoms. They may include never confronting your partner with the reality of their tone-deaf singing or limited grace on the dance floor. Perhaps the overcooked spaghetti goes unmentioned, or the gardening attempts that are less than stellar. None of these accommodations […]

What Is The Media Doing To Our Marriages?

The Famous Unfaithful: A couple recovering from an infidelity described being rattled by the constant news reports of the famous unfaithful. The upside of the battering ram of infidelity reminders is that the husband is regretful and pained by his actions, which bolsters his commitment to working on his marriage. His wife sees his struggle […]

What Are The Daughters Thinking? DSK, Schwarzenegger, Clinton

Imagine: Can anyone imagine DSK’s lunch with his daughter 17 minutes after he left the Sofitel Hotel and his encounter with a hotel housekeeper? Whatever that moment was in the Sofitel, DSK shifted to dad mode within minutes of being “someone else.” His daughter Camille is a 25-year-old Columbia University graduate student. After her dad’s […]

The Rich Coupledom Under Siege

A Mansion Divided: Several years ago I began working with a young married mother of two whose husband was prospering mightily on Wall Street. She was alarmed by an increasing sense that extended family members were assessing her family’s capital worth with personal gain in mind. She was just one of several patients with whom […]

Levels Of Betrayal: I Did Not Have Sex(t) With That Woman

Defining Betrayal: The over-active Anthony Weiner, whose nimble fingers have twittered him into some pretty deep you know what, has added a new twist to the ever popular presidential pronouncement, “I did not have sex with that woman.” What is infidelity and what grade are these men in when they come up with their personal […]

What Do Your Children Know About Your Coupledom?

Little Pitchers, Big Ears?  Children are sponges. They are meant to be so. Absorbent. It facilitates learning the art of  being human. Parents swell with pride when describing the latest juvenile achievement, seemingly spun from some invisible loom. Yet this sponge-like quality of growing children is recognized by proud parents when it suits us, and denied […]

The Coupledom: Is It Too Late?

Inspiration: This post was inspired by a friend. He calls it “Nurture the Coupledom.” He and his wife arranged for their child to be left with grandparents for her first overnight to enable them to  “go out”, as in a “date night.” I could hear his pride both in his daughter’s readiness for this big […]