A Gift Of A Mind-Set: The wedding date is approaching and you and your partner may already be residing together. Or you may be living apart but have enjoyed sexual intimacy for sometime. Perhaps the two of you have delayed that most intimate of connections for your wedding night. Then again, you may be amongst [...]
Intimacy
The Un-Romantic Bed
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Bill Maher: If ever there were an unromantic guy, it is Bill Maher with his surgeon-like skill to slice away all artifice and get to the earthy or seamy underbelly of so much of life, political and otherwise. Recently, he made a comment about sleep which got me thinking about the unromantic aspect of sleeping [...]
Couples Counseling: A Tool For Life?
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Checking In: When a couple comes in for counseling, they are motivated by a personal crisis, either within The Coupledom or one pressing on the Coupledom. Typical triggers are a particularly volatile fight, an encounter with relatives/in-laws that leads to a clash of attitudes, a financial crisis, a child’s acting-out, loss, an affair, a suspected [...]
Who Listens? Let It Be Your Coupledom
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Telling Stories: Someone asked a psychiatrist ‘How can you listen to people talk about their problems all day.’ Comedic pause. Psychiatrist: ‘Who listens?’ Of course many of you may have anecdotes or evidence that validates that ironic response but one could insert husband and wife or wife and husband, in any particular order, and make [...]
The Coupledom Dreams: Using Our Unconscious To Communicate
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Talking In Our Sleep: Lying next to each other, so near yet in our own worlds, The Coupledom dreams, every night in fact, during what is called the REM stage of sleep, which amounts to approximately 25% of sleeping time. Yet what do we do with this rich resource of mental activity as a couple? [...]
The Affair: A Symptom of Marriage Rot or A Rotten Spouse?
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Affairs Come In Colors: Not all infidelities look alike. The red-hot mega-media adulteries are not the prototype for most unfaithful Coupledoms. The shades of color for the common household variety of betrayal are in grays, not black, white or red-hot. Yet folks on either side of the betrayal highway feel more comfortable thinking in black, [...]
Husbands Without Friendships or Heart: Why?
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Boys Are Socially Illiterate? Niobe Way, a psychologist at New York University whose area of specialty is adolescent development, recently published a book entitled Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and The Crisis of Connection. The book focuses on her research on male adolescent friendships, her experience as a high school guidance counselor and observations as the [...]
Bully Wives? Yes, But They Don’t Know It.
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Powerful Impact: Women are depicted as the “weaker sex”; have been for centuries. And in so many ways the inculcation of that notion, along with certain biological and physical realities, has successfully rendered them so, a state many of us fight each day. Yet there are times when sitting in my office, or out socializing, [...]
Oldies but Goodies: Sex In The Coupledom: A Powerful Absence
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Happy Labor Day Weekend! Jill is taking a break from the blog this weekend to rest and relax post Hurricane Irene. Here is one of her most popular posts from the past year or so. Excerpt: No Shame Needed Here: The fact that a significant number of couples are not having great sex, frequent sex [...]
Oldies but Goodies: Weight Gain, Sex, And The Coupledom: Weight Tells A Story
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Happy Labor Day Weekend! Jill is taking a break from the blog this weekend to rest and relax post Hurricane Irene. Here is one of her most popular posts from the past year or so. Excerpt: A Forbidden Topic: Weight talk in a relationship is so tricky and full of traps that most couples avoid [...]