What’s Tough About February 14? Besides the possibility of being caught in a winter blizzard, February 14 is the one day a year when the cultural spotlight aims its beams of light on the heart of the relationship. How soft, flattering or harsh the light feels, depends on the health of that heart, year to [...]
Holidays
Tidying Up The Holiday Mess: The Coupledom Hangover
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Blight on the New Year: The ornaments are boxed, the ball has dropped and the seasonal remains of the day have been put away yet there remains some unwanted detritus from the holiday past. Those sticky, hard-to-get-off-the-soles-of-your shoes type of goo where some clash or alienation has occurred, either within the Coupledom or between the Coupledom [...]
Coupledom Resolutions Revisited: New Years 2013
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.New Couples, Veteran Couples: Here are a few suggestions for the ritual of joint resolution that we call the New Year. When the ball drops this odd numbered post electoral New Year be prepared. Talking Heads: Vow to aim for eye contact when you have verbal exchanges as much as possible. The walking out of [...]
Bracing For Santa: Holiday Performance Anxiety In The Coupledom
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Anticipating Complications: If you notice, as the days darken and talk of turkeys and Black Friday fill the air, that your insides have begun to retract and breathing has become a more shallow affair, perhaps you are suffering from Holiday Performance Anxiety. And if the communication between you and your partner about when to leave [...]
I Don’t Want To Lose My Children
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Father’s Day: A Sunday devoted to dad is coming up shortly and my clinical mind scans through father files looking for relevant information. Strangely, one oft-repeated phrase leaps out at me; “I don’t want to lose my children” – something that many fathers have said in my office when facing the possibility of a divorce. [...]
A Smart Mother’s Day for The Coupledom
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Your Mother, Her Day: May 12 is Mother’s Day and the material world is busy reminding us to commemorate our mothers with flowers, jewelry, breakfast in bed, and dinner out at a special restaurant. Though this tradition of honoring motherhood has ancient roots, the current version began in 1907 when Ana Jarvis, desirous to honor [...]
Valentines With Heart and Humor: A Developmental Approach
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.A Different Perspective: This will be my third post on the “lovers” holiday and I am stretching my brain to think what I might add to the topic that would be useful here. In the post Valentine’s Day Gifts Take Some Knowing I tackled the topic of gift giving. Valentine’s Day and The Coupledom: Is [...]
Aftermath: Cleaning Up The Coupledom’s Holiday Mess
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.What Was Your Holiday Like? I counted three holiday disasters in my caseload prior to New Year’s and I expect reports of more in the coming days. Disaster may be too strong a word since I believe most “messes” can be worked on and cleaned up with help. Hence the post. But holiday pressure puts many [...]
Free Holiday Gifts
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.As the holidays consume our time and attention, I suspect reading blogs will fall down on the “to do” list. But just in case you have a moment now or after the Times Square Ball drops us into 2012, take a peek at the contents page of The Couples Tool Kit. Or dip into the [...]
Hanukkah is here… Christmas is coming… Don’t miss these posts from The Holiday Toolkit
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.The holidays are upon us, and with them, the potential for stressful times for The Coupledom. Whether we are talking about Christmas, Easter, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Passover, Ramadan, Valentines Day or just making resolutions on New Years Day, these posts have been popular in the past and offer useful insights, particularly at this time of the [...]