Holiday Toolkit


Holiday Season – No Time To Test The Relationship, Yet Opportunity Knocks

I have written a number of posts on holiday challenges including Valentine’s Day and Christmas. I suggest that folks review these posts in the next week. My clinical observation and I think this is a pretty obvious observation, is that holidays often intensify couples conflict. It’s a bit like the flu season. Exposure to germs is a guarantee; […]

A Valentine Cocktail: Imagination With A Splash Of Empathy

The romantic season starts now. It’s pretty short – twenty-four little hours. Well not really – there’s the build up and the aftermath to factor in. It is also an opportunity rich with the possibility of long lasting gain for your Coupledom. I will not challenge the merits of our culture’s classic symbols of romantic […]

Toolkit of New Years Vows for 2016

New Years Vows 2016: Each Day 1. Each Day I will wonder about you – how are you doing? How was your day? And each day I will take a moment to ask you. And each day I will actually listen to your answer. 2. Each Day I will tell you the truth. Each day […]

Think Outside The Candy Box: Valentine’s Day 2015

Here we go again. Heart shaped red ribboned candy boxes full of chocolate promises deck the shelves of the local CVS. A few days ago I noticed some harried looking males anxiously flipping through the stacks of Valentine cards in the supermarket aisle. The pressure is on to perform the mating ritual and renewal that […]

Lonely in The Coupledom: Post Holiday Blues

How Were The Holidays? The post holiday season can be an especially challenging time for couples. Perhaps you are empty nesters and the kids went back to school. Could be your vicarious thrill in watching your young children’s Christmas joy has waned with the new year or maybe when the grandparents flew back to home […]

Spotlight on The Heart: Valentine’s Day

What’s Tough About February 14? Besides the possibility of being caught in a winter blizzard, February 14 is the one day a year when the cultural spotlight aims its beams of light on the heart of the relationship. How soft, flattering or harsh the light feels, depends on the health of that heart, year to […]

Tidying Up The Holiday Mess: The Coupledom Hangover

Blight on the New Year: The ornaments are boxed, the ball has dropped and the seasonal remains of the day have been put away yet there remains some unwanted detritus from the holiday past. Those sticky, hard-to-get-off-the-soles-of-your shoes type of goo where some clash or alienation has occurred, either within the Coupledom or between the Coupledom […]

Bracing For Santa: Holiday Performance Anxiety In The Coupledom

Anticipating Complications: If you notice, as the days darken and talk of turkeys and Black Friday fill the air, that your insides have begun to retract and breathing has become a more shallow affair, perhaps you are suffering from Holiday Performance Anxiety. And if the communication between you and your partner about when to leave […]

Valentines With Heart and Humor: A Developmental Approach

A Different Perspective: This will be my third post on the “lovers” holiday and I am stretching my brain to think what I might add to the topic that would be useful here. In the post Valentine’s Day Gifts Take Some Knowing I tackled the topic of gift giving. Valentine’s Day and The Coupledom: Is […]

Aftermath: Cleaning Up The Coupledom’s Holiday Mess

What Was Your Holiday Like? I counted three holiday disasters in my caseload prior to New Year’s and I expect reports of more in the coming days. Disaster may be too strong a word since I believe most “messes” can be worked on and cleaned up with help. Hence the post. But holiday pressure puts many […]