Checking In: When a couple comes in for counseling, they are motivated by a personal crisis, either within The Coupledom or one pressing on the Coupledom. Typical triggers are a particularly volatile fight, an encounter with relatives/in-laws that leads to a clash of attitudes, a financial crisis, a child’s acting-out, loss, an affair, a suspected [...]
Admit Imperfection
Finding Love Over Fifty Online?
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Can Dreams Come True After Fifty-Two? I am hearing a lot lately about older folks meeting up and partnering or even marrying, happily and in many cases, unexpectedly. Unexpected in that either they had been searching for years with no results, or surprisingly lucky when they began their search to find the perfect mate. Perfect [...]
Bully Wives? Yes, But They Don’t Know It.
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Powerful Impact: Women are depicted as the “weaker sex”; have been for centuries. And in so many ways the inculcation of that notion, along with certain biological and physical realities, has successfully rendered them so, a state many of us fight each day. Yet there are times when sitting in my office, or out socializing, [...]
The Coupledom: Is It Too Late?
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Inspiration: This post was inspired by a friend. He calls it “Nurture the Coupledom.” He and his wife arranged for their child to be left with grandparents for her first overnight to enable them to ”go out”, as in a “date night.” I could hear his pride both in his daughter’s readiness for this big [...]
Stereotyping The Coupledom
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.Stereotyping Your Partner: One marvels at the power of gender stereotyping in The Coupledom, that domicile in which the relationship resides. Years, even decades into a marriage, partners interpret behaviors in the language of expected gender norms. Often these interpretations are inaccurate and create emotional distance rather than facilitate connectedness. Dismissive or Disengaged? At the [...]
The Secret To A Happy Marriage: Self-Expansion
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.A Tip To Start The Coupledom Off On The Right Foot in 2011: The sum of one partner part plus one partner part equals two partner parts: No! Not if you follow the research. In fact, as mentioned in previous posts, optimal bonding in The Coupledom should lead to a much greater, broader entity…the combined [...]
“Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”: Excuse Me?
Written by Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W.The Healing Power of Remorse: In the 1970 movie, “Love Story”, the line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” became universally famous. The movie, based on the eponymous book by Erich Segal, popularized the concept, furthered bolstered by the pop psychology of the era, that true love required an unconditional acceptance of the [...]