Chemistry Compromises Clarity: We meet, we spark and we bond. What are the variables that allow folks to desire attaching themselves to someone? Physical attraction is a pretty heady draw but if met with an unappealing personality, a “dud” may not sustain its spark. There are many additional sources of attachment attraction. “We have fun […]
Archives for November 2011
Phase ll Of Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Week At A Time
Back To Business: A full week away from writing my blog has been strange indeed. Though the time was bathed in the joys of turkey grease, sweet potato skins, family fun and amazing Fall weather, I do enjoy being back at the keyboard. A daily ritual was absent and no surprise that the experience was […]
Have a Happy Thanksgiving from The Couples Tool Kit!
Jill is taking a vacation from the Blog this week for Thanksgiving. She’ll be back next week with new posts for both the Couples Tool Kit and Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day at a Time. We wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving holiday. And if you’re looking for Jill’s posts about the stress […]
Holiday Toolkit 2011: The Narcissist’s Stocking Stuffer: A Coupledom Alert
What do you get a narcissist for the holidays? No, this isn’t a bad joke — just another helpful post from The Holiday Toolkit intended to help you survive the most wonderful time of the year. Today’s post from the Holiday Toolkit: Excerpt: How many days to Thanksgiving? To Hanukkah? To Christmas? To Kwanzaa? To […]
Sunny With No Chance Of Angst; Medication Dilemmas: 11-20-11
Sunny With No Chance of Angst: We hope. The young ladies seem to have passed their first domestic crisis and spent Saturday attending a matinée of The Wiz at our local High School. Last heard from, our daughter was coming back to their apartment for a chicken dinner. Medications in The Special Needs World: Given the propensity […]
A Hairbrush, Forgiveness and Natalie Wood: 11-19-11
Happy Birthday To Grandpa: If our daughter’s maternal grandfather were alive today, he would be 101 years old. Wow. Our children never met either of my parents but their presence is felt by my children in my presence as their parent. Happy Birthday to you Dad. A Wake Up Call With Horses: My iPhone showed […]
Holiday Toolkit 2011: ToolKit of New Years Vows for Relationship 2010
As we all enter the weekend before Thanksgiving, it’s not too early to begin thinking about the end of the year and the health of our relationships. Here is another post about relationships and the holidays from the Holiday Toolkit. Today’s post from the Holiday Toolkit: Excerpt: Take a moment, contrived as it may sound, […]
War: 11-18-11
The Honeymoon Is Over: Coming off of her Katy Perry moment replete with a meet, chat and photo-op, I was hopeful, with a measure of trepidation, that our daughter would return to her CRS in good spirits and a bountiful heart. Alas, no such luck. Her mate was battling her own demons this week, some […]
Holiday Toolkit 2011: The Divorce Survival ToolKit for Children of All Ages
Holidays are stressful times for The Coupledom. Here is another post about divorce and the holidays from the Holiday Toolkit. Today’s post from the Holiday Toolkit: Excerpt: Adult children of divorce as well as their younger counterparts struggle with the new regime, the confusing order of things and benefit from a language and vocabulary that […]
Amongst The Stars: 11-17-11
11:41 P.M. Our daughter must be meeting the star. Do these mega star concerts run this late? It is Wednesday night and our daughter went off to the Katy Perry concert without hesitation. In the car into NYC I told her that the concert was at Madison Square Garden, a place like a stadium. She […]
Coffee Grinds: The Sequel 11-16-11
Spill Over Into Wednesday: I regrouped, or so I thought, from yesterday’s weariness only to find this morning that my coffee filter was gone. Guess how? Yep, when I emptied the filter onto the Fed Ex envelope that I mindlessly threw into the garbage, the filter went in too. Pretty concrete way to measure exhaustion. […]
Holiday Toolkit 2011: Holiday Mayhem for the Coupledom?
Holidays are stressful times for The Coupledom. These posts have been popular in the past and offer useful insights, particularly at this time of the year, so we are collecting them here. Today’s post from the Holiday Toolkit: Excerpt: No matter which holiday you subscribe to, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, Passover, Easter, Ramadan or […]
Not Checking In: 11-15-11
My Plans: It is 10:30 a.m. and our daughter is at day two of DSO. Last word from her came yesterday afternoon when a 3:24 P.M. text buzzed my way. “My day went well,” followed by a phone chat informing me that she is missing her watch and one doggy patterned sock. Please deliver. So […]
Minds Have Met Before: 11-14-11
Medicaid Mystery: Earlier today after dropping our daughter off at the DSO (her social group program) I swerved west to DSS (Department of Social Services) to inquire in person what was up with the Medicaid issue, after receiving an email from the DDS case manager (Department of Developmental Services) who suggested I contact the DSS […]
Home Heals: 11-13-11
Sunday, A Day Of Rest: Today our daughter is with us. She slept here last night, a good and restful sleep after “The worst week of my life.” It was a rough week, littered with interpersonal ruptures that took their toll with familiar melt downs so characteristic of this time of year, SAD (Seasonal Affective […]
Shaking Things Up: 11-12-11
Friday’s Visit: Yesterday afternoon I stopped by to drop off a check for our daughter’s November recreational costs. Though entitlements fund rent and staffing, food, household goods and Medicaid, (if they finally reinstate her) nothing is left over for costs such as clothes, furnishings, and outings of any kind including movies, the recreation center, Sphere and Pegasus. […]
Is This A Joke? 11-11-11
Gin Rummy: Our daughter’s first day of volunteer work at Ridgefield Crossings was a bust. The senior lady with the cat was out at a dentist appointment when our daughter and her staff escort arrived. So instead of being a “companion” she was asked to play cards with other residents. Gin Rummy. Did anyone read […]
The Narcissist’s Stocking Stuffer: A Coupledom Alert
Holidays Coming: How many days to Thanksgiving? To Hanukkah? To Christmas? To Kwanzaa? To New Year’s Eve? Enough to create a big fat Coupledom mess. What are the holidays known for in my profession? Opportunity for families to become combustible, leaving memories scorched with flames. Why? Holidays provide fertile ground for narcissistic orgies rich in […]
The Senior, The Cat and The Daughter: 11-10-11
Ridgefield Crossings: It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood, burnt orange leaves glisten with gemstone rain drops outside my office window, framed by streaks of blue, grey and white sky and our daughter is off to her new volunteer job. Hurrah. Fingers crossed, the senior, the cat and the daughter get along. Is the […]
An Off Day: 11-09-11
A Full Moon? Was it the full moon last night? Sure looked and felt that way to me. While on route to my oil change our daughter text me “I’m having an off day.” When I called she greeted me sobbing hysterically. I could barely make out what she was saying but recognized enough words to determine […]
Oil Change: 11-08-11
Coming Attractions: Today I am off to get an oil change, 20,000 miles plus on my new Toyota Venza, purchased a year ago on our daughter’s 21 birthday, November 4, and it seems appropriate to my state of mind. I am a bit burned out by birthday celebrations, storms and sickness and look forward to a […]
Humor, The Antidote: 11-07-11
The Two O’clock Hour: Our daughter went to sleep at two in the morning after Friday night’s birthday. Though evening staff has a role to ensure that the girls shut off cell phones and laptops by 10 P.M. to enable them to wind down for a decent night’s sleep, somehow our daughter managed to keep […]
The Delights of Difference: 11-06-11
Pride To The Sky: Yesterday our son and his boyfriend joined day two of our daughter’s birthday celebration. The young men took the train from the city and we all drove to the Palace Theater in Waterbury, Connecticut to see In The Heights and catch up with their high school buddy who is in the […]
We Are So “P” of You: 11-5-11
A Run Down On The Cats: During our ride back from the birthday dinner/shopping celebration last evening, our daughter described her work at The Complete Cat Clinic earlier that day. She spoke of Elwin Nelson, Mocha and Coco. Elwin Nelson is white with brown patches, a male and “adorable.” Coco is a cat whom our daughter […]
Super Giggles: 11-04-11
No Roar, Yet Giggles: Today is our daughter’s twenty-second birthday. I called her this morning and sang “happy birthday to you” with some silliness added on. She exploded in giggles, which sent waves of joy through the phone line to me. Excited much? You bet. And today was to be her second “first day” volunteering […]
Two Lady Grumps With A Lot To Share: 11-3-11
Senior Residence: Surprise, Surprise, Ridgefield Crossings start date has been delayed another week due to power outage. Still waiting to hear from Roar, postponed last week due to Ringworm. These vocational settings have been fraught with problems, though the trustworthy Complete Cat Clinic has remained steadfast and true so far. Medicaid Update: Looks like the bureaucratic glitch […]
Coming Up On 22: 11-2-11
Birthday Girl: Two days from today our daughter celebrates her twenty-second birthday, which will be marked by a variety of events including attending theater in Waterbury, Connecticut to see “In The Heights” and a trip to the Vera Bradley store at the Westfarms Mall. Bass Player Pal: Her brother and his boyfriend are coming up […]
Medicaid Mix-Up But Power! 11-01-11
Waiver Whatever: I took our daughter to her doctor and ran into a bunch of bureaucratic glitches that broke my spirit for the moment. Unfortunately my condition was frightfully contagious and my poor daughter caught it. Bored Yet? Not to belabor the boring, of which I am often guilty, the Doc’s prescription for an antibiotic […]
Coupledoms, Focus On Education!
Clarifying Priorities: I do not consider myself an expert on economics, not even adequate, but I am an expert on couples and families. Today’s New York Times’ Op Ed column by David Brooks is a must read for couples with children. Scroll down to paragraph 7 and read his description of something he terms “Red […]