Jill is taking a break from her daily posts tonight and tomorrow night, so since it’s Rosh Hashanah and the start of a new year, we thought it was a great time to revisit the very first Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time post from March 30, 2011. Excerpt: Your Child Is […]
Archives for September 2011
Husbands Without Friendships or Heart: Why?
Boys Are Socially Illiterate? Niobe Way, a psychologist at New York University whose area of specialty is adolescent development, recently published a book entitled Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and The Crisis of Connection. The book focuses on her research on male adolescent friendships, her experience as a high school guidance counselor and observations as the […]
Happy New Year: 9-29-11
Candy Apples, Challah Dipped In Honey: Today’s post is not about our daughter, but about that half of her heritage for whom today is one of the holiest days of the year, Rosh Hashanah. The Jewish New Year. Shana Tova. Sweetness in the New Year. ©Jill Edelman, M.S.W.,L.C.S.W. 2011
Witch/Which Mother? 9-28-11
Witch Mother Makes An Appearance: Today is a grey, wet, merciless looking day. It started out decently between my daughter and me. I met her at the apartment with the intent to shop for PJ’s. The new furniture, ottoman and two side tables, fits like a glove. No problem, no defects. But my daughter’s room […]
Holes in The PJ’s and Snagged: 9-27-11
Sphere: This was a SPHERE day for our daughter. She and her apartment-mate joined a small number of fellow SPHERE members on a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Normally on a Tuesday she would be at her DSO program but she chose to go on the field trip. I […]
All About Me: 9-26-11
Yes Indeed: It is almost 6 P.M. and today has been all about me. Well, almost. Our daughter had her Day Service Options (DSO) program at Ability Beyond Disability where they do a variety of social activities. And though I put in a call to her cell a half hour ago, she did not pick […]
I Am Busy With Something: 9-25-11
Other Family Matters: I was busy today with other family matters and called our daughter early this evening to catch up. She didn’t pick up on her cell so I called the apartment phone and her staff person told me of their day, which included a movie about a dolphin who lost its tail, a […]
Flying Home On A Donut: 9-24-11
We Made It: I missed an exit leaving the Cape, no surprise as I was super sleepy. Sharing a bed with our daughter in an Inn she disliked (my mistake) left me super drained and groggy. Probably stirred up by the prospect of the following morning’s memorial service and reunion with former classmates, teachers, and […]
A Shared Grief and A Puncture: 9-23-11
Riverview: What a profound place, this special education school that embraces its students and their families with arms of acceptance and devotion, class and humor. The memorial service for this precious young man, who perished because his seizure disorder interrupted an innocent dive into a lake he has probably spent years paddling about in, wrapped […]
I 95 North: 9-22-11
Kleenex: We are off to the Cape. I don’t need my Garmin. My daughter wants to know the dress code for a memorial service at her school. For me, the necessary article is Kleenex. I have no idea what this return will feel like for her. But I will be watching. ©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. […]
Bully Wives? Yes, But They Don’t Know It.
Powerful Impact: Women are depicted as the “weaker sex”; have been for centuries. And in so many ways the inculcation of that notion, along with certain biological and physical realities, has successfully rendered them so, a state many of us fight each day. Yet there are times when sitting in my office, or out socializing, […]
I Believe In Dreams: 9-21-11
Catching Up: Since our daughters moved into their new home about seven weeks ago, the other mother and I have not chatted. All was going well and we had the freedom to take care of other aspects of our lives. Today we finally caught up to make some decisions on coffee tables, ottomans and side […]
Oh What A Night! 9-20-11
Colbie in Concert: Our night out on the town was splendid. Colbie Caillat is a teenage girl’s dream, soft, sexy, and descriptive on stage of thwarted love, regrets of affection withheld, vows to reveal more passion and take no guff (well that particular song was really about her girlfriend). With a slim body sporting denims […]
DSS Messes and A Scary Future: 9-19-11
DSS: The Connecticut Department of Social Services, which handles the entitlements of Medicaid and food stamps, has decided to mess with my head in the last week or two. I can imagine how this must feel for folks who are more handicapped, cannot get to the DSS offices, or have few family members to deal […]
An Oblong Moon and Courage: 9-18-11
A Revelation of Relief: Driving home from Ridgefield after dropping our daughter off following the movie “The Help” I saw this oblong moon in the sky. It was formed by an unusual arrangement of clouds framing its intense orb. Folks clearly had their first Fall fires burning in fireplaces and the car registered 50 degrees […]
A Date With A Lady: 9-17-11
Bouncing and Beaming: This morning I met our daughter at the Pegasus Equestrian Center in Brewster, New York for the first class of her Fall program. The only female amongst five members, the group were of similar ages, one young man already living in a group home in Norwalk, Connecticut, managed by the service agency Star. […]
A Litter of Kitties and Buck: 9-16-11
Mocha: Today our daughter has her Complete Cat volunteer job. I spoke with Dr. Eisen, the vet, who informed me that her cat Mocha had a litter Thursday and our daughter will be able to interact with one-day-old kittens when she shows up for her work this morning. The clinic has embraced our daughter, offering […]
Purposeful Blogging, Pass It Along: 9-15-11
Get Started Now: Our daughter has been participating in the Ability Beyond Disability adult program for 2 plus months with the residential piece in place for the last 6 weeks. As I track this transition to independent living with supports, I am mindful that readers who have more recently joined this narrative may not benefit […]
ROAR Follows Up: 9-14-11
Off To The CRS: My daughter has her residential support day today. One of her activities is banking, which at first I heard as baking. She also has a team staff meeting where the young ladies meet with the behaviorist assigned to the CRS (Continuous Residential Supports), the nurse and other staff. I believe they […]
Looking Ahead And Behind: 9-13-11
Full Schedule: Our daughter’s Fall schedule is rich in variety. She has a concert date to see Cobie Caillot, her current favorite, a trip to her alma mater for the memorial service of her school friend, the resumption of her riding class, Pegasus, this Saturday, hopefully new volunteer options including ROAR the animal shelter in […]
Sibling “Sonshine”: 9-12-11
The Other Children: Two weeks prior to my fortieth birthday, we had our first child, a son. He was and is the love of my life. I could have stopped there but being one of three children, my husband one of five, I pondered the wisdom of a second go around. I began to gather […]
How Smart Is Humor: 9-10-11
A Necessary Balance: I had to cancel our UGGS (boots) shopping yesterday. Rescheduled for next Saturday due to a previous commitment to my husband to head down to Cape May Point, New Jersey if the weather were good. And so it was. Our daughter handled the delay well but I didn’t. I felt that I […]
A Celebration For The Artists: 9-9-11
Sphere Art Program: The Ridgefield group SPHERE had their end of summer art show last night. Our daughter’s many pieces were displayed including the papier-mâché dog head. She and her apartment-mate greeted us in the Lounsbury House, the 1896 mansion on Main Street that serves as Ridgefield’s elegant community center. SPHERE board members were taking […]
Uggs, No Hugs: 9-8-11
30-Day Review: The meeting yesterday reviewing the first thirty days of adult independent living was a kind of love fest. The conference at Ability Beyond Disability had nine staff members, our daughter and myself. When I walked in at 12:30 our daughter was seated at the table nibbling on a bag of cheese crackers and drinking […]
The Thirty Day Meeting and Temporal Awareness: 9-7-11
Pending Good News: I received a voice mail from the Pegasus people to say that our daughter has a 95% chance of being in the Fall riding program. We will find out Thursday. At 12:30 today the Ability Beyond Disability staff and our DDS case manager meet at an ABD office to discuss the last […]
No Dad’s Paintings Please: 9-6-11
Love Her Spunk: The Ridgefield CRS apartment is a pretty stylish place these days. The residential coordinator picked out an area rug for the living room, a runner for the hall and hung some curtains to soften the noises being emitted from the red couch. Both the coordinator and the other mother, having seen her […]
The Divorced Coupledom: Milestones Celebrated In Court
Back To Court: Several times a year, whether I am in session with a patient, or bumping into friends, acquaintances or former patients in the aisles of the local supermarkets, the phrase “He/She is taking me back to court,” is whispered to me in tones of distress, anger, irony or weariness. Weariness often more than anything laces […]
Oldies but Goodies: Sex In The Coupledom: A Powerful Absence
Happy Labor Day Weekend! Jill is taking a break from the blog this weekend to rest and relax post Hurricane Irene. Here is one of her most popular posts from the past year or so. Excerpt: No Shame Needed Here: The fact that a significant number of couples are not having great sex, frequent sex […]
Oldies but Goodies: Weight Gain, Sex, And The Coupledom: Weight Tells A Story
Happy Labor Day Weekend! Jill is taking a break from the blog this weekend to rest and relax post Hurricane Irene. Here is one of her most popular posts from the past year or so. Excerpt: A Forbidden Topic: Weight talk in a relationship is so tricky and full of traps that most couples avoid […]
One Mother Wanted To Schmooze: 9-2-11
The Check In: Thirty minutes after I published yesterday’s post, our daughter called; “Hi.” “Hi Sweetie, how are you?” “Good.” “How was your day?” “Good.” “What did you do?” “Well…” And she went on to describe a trip to the recreation center, time on the treadmill, a visit to Puppy Love, a local pet store, […]
No Power, No Water, No Daughter: 9-1-11
September Morn: New England loves September. It is our return to clarity of mornings, yellow buses huffing and puffing fumes up steep hills (delayed by Irene’s iron club) the Mark Twain Library Book Fair (Twain lived and died in our Redding woods, founding his eponymous library during his two year stay). It is all a […]