Holding Pattern: I think I have been in a bit of a holding pattern for the last couple of weeks. There were a series of meetings that had a finality to them: Ability Beyond Disability some weeks ago where we officially signed our daughter over to their care, come July; the Project Forward, Cape Cod […]
Archives for May 2011
How Do You Translate Special Needs Into English? 5-30-11
A Different Journey: This is the season for parents to mark their children’s passages, whether it is a “moving up” ceremony to middle school, or the great leap from college to…somewhere and beyond. It is a fun exchange of parental pride edged with some skepticism and fear. But for the special needs parent, there is […]
Count Down to June 12: 5-29-11
Thirteen Days Away: Sunday two weeks from today at 10 a.m. our daughter, dressed in cap and gown, will enter the tented arena for the Riverview/Grow graduation ceremonies. I have a lump in my throat and fear in my belly. Memorial Day Perspective: Tomorrow is Memorial Day and the media is a buzz with all […]
This App’s For You: 5-28-11
Tech Eval: Last summer the transition coordinator at our town’s High School referred our daughter for a tech evaluation to determine if she would benefit from iPod touch’s many apps for special needs. The answer was yes so the school purchased the iPod touch and trained our daughter over several sessions, before she went back to her […]
The Little Mermaid: 5-27-11
Which Mermaid Was That? Out of state friends visited some months after our daughter’s birth. I was in the throes of Disney ecstasy, believe it or not, after having seen the Little Mermaid with our son, who shared my joy. After all, what could be more reggae fun than Sebastian the crab and the hysterically evil Ursula, […]
Job Description…Mom: 5-26-11
Geography: A challenging component of producing a rich program for our daughter is transportation. Several interesting offerings are miles apart. Volunteer jobs in animal settings with caring and willing staff may not be easy to find and one intriguing possibility is an hour south of here. The more local option works only with cats, and our […]
All Graduations Are Tear Jerkers: 5-25-11
Tears Galore: All graduations are moving and long. Inevitably when your child or their best buddy walks up to receive the diploma, the heart swells, and the tears spill. A special education graduation offers an additional punch. A real pow to the emotional gut. Tears for The Struggles of Others: There were several student speakers […]
Graduation #1: 5-24-11
Project Forward: This morning we are heading up to Cape Cod for the Project Forward graduation ceremony at Cape Cod Community College in Barnstable. I plan to buy some flowers or a Vera Bradley something while on the road. My husband and son are on board and our daughter is super excited. Three Diplomas: Actually, […]
Exited: 5-23-11
Exit Meeting: Thirteen in all, most on conference call, gathered to finalize our daughter’s exit from the school system. Four institutions were represented: our district High School, Joel Barlow High, where our daughter spent her freshman year; Riverview School, the special education boarding school that our daughter has attended since the age of 16; Ability […]
What Do Your Children Know About Your Coupledom?
Little Pitchers, Big Ears? Children are sponges. They are meant to be so. Absorbent. It facilitates learning the art of being human. Parents swell with pride when describing the latest juvenile achievement, seemingly spun from some invisible loom. Yet this sponge-like quality of growing children is recognized by proud parents when it suits us, and denied […]
SPHERE, Special People Indeed: 5-22-11
An Acronym That Works: SPHERE , founded in 1987 by a group of parents in the town of Ridgefield, Connecticut, stands for: Special People Housing Education Recreation Employment. And Wow, they are special! Last night I attended the yearly performance of SPHERE’s theater group. This year, for the first time, the group made a movie, an […]
Closing In On Aging Out: 5-21-11
Funding Approval: Yesterday we received word that our daughter’s future apartment mate received DDS approval to fund her part of their shared staffing requirements. This was the final patch needed for that section of the crazy quilt of future planning. Finalizing The Goodbyes: Monday we have the final PPT with our school district. Participating in […]
Special Needs and The White House: 5-20-11
David and Susan Axelrod: Even the White House knows special needs. While away for six days with my husband, I watched Piers Morgan on CNN interview David Axelrod, President Obama’s former senior advisor and primary campaign strategist. David and his wife Susan Landau are parents of a “special needs” daughter, now in her late twenties, […]
Maria And Arnold: A Rorschach Test
Separation Tremors: The announcement that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are separating after 25 years married and four children may be sending out tremors beyond the confines of the couples’ California home. What can have gone awry? Mid-life crisis; infidelity; anorexia; male or female menopause; the end of a political marriage matching the termination of […]
Taking A Break: 5-12-11
Coming Down To The Wire: Today I am off to my daughter’s school. Four hours up, four hours down. She is having a bit of a rough patch and no wonder: this is the end of the year pressure that many students feel, special needs and typical, and on top of that, she is saying […]
Where Were The Parents? 5-11-11
Where Were The Parents? While writing yesterday’s post I imagined readers thinking, “But where were the parents when their daughters’ were violated?” Those of us who raise children with disabilities know that providing 24/7 supervision is an enormous challenge. When our daughter went off to a boarding school at age 16, this pressure was lifted […]
Sex Education and Special Needs: 5-10-11
Informed Is Empowered: Today I was privileged to attend the 2011 Champions Of Choice annual luncheon, sponsored by the National Institute For Reproductive Health and NARAL Pro-Choice of New York. Amongst an impressive roster of speakers, including Gloria Steinem, founder of Ms. Magazine and Kirsten E. Gillibrand, U.S. Senator for New York, was Dr. Laura […]
Cousins Fill The Friendship Gap: 5-9-11
Dedicated To Rosa: Yesterday was Mother’s Day and on Facebook our niece posted a Happy Mother’s Day to me. On the heels of yesterday’s piece regarding the absence of real friends for many special needs children, I remembered with gratitude how much our daughter’s cousin filled in the gaps for many years. Cousins Rock: When […]
Romance and Special Needs: 5-8-11
What To Expect: There is something powerfully profound about the romantic connections of special needs teens and young adults. While in the public school system our daughter had her crushes but no real chances to experience the fun of mutual flirtation. At the age of sixteen all this changed when she became a student at […]
Dating? 5-7-11
Facebook Friends: A tremendous resource for special needs young adults is Facebook. Often the circle for these young people is limited by their cognitive difference, their inability to travel on their own and a host of other challenges. Communicating with former schoolmates and family friends, siblings’ buddies, cousins, and friends of friends, is easy and […]
Agency Transition Meeting: 5-6-11
Ability Beyond Disability: Our service agency, aka ABD and formerly known as Datahr Rehabilitation Institute, headquartered in Bethel, Connecticut, held something along the lines of a warm and welcoming cabinet meeting. The heads of the various units met, not in the oval office, but a conference room with a great big table. I sat at […]
Great Father/Great Mother: Failed Coupledom?
The New Yorker Captures The Coupledom: If ever you need a visual for what is happening to your Coupledom, pick up several copies of the New Yorker Magazine, and flip through the pages. Inevitably you will find the very image that corresponds to your moment. I did. While preparing my thoughts for this post, this […]
Protecting The Siblings of Special Needs: 5-5-11
The Others: I don’t know the statistics, but I would bet that most of us special needs parents have other children. I have spent a great deal of time amongst these other children, my other child, and the children of families with whom we have shared Special Olympics or horse back riding programs, special needs […]
Training For Mother’s Day: 5-4-11
Mother’s Day and Special Needs: Our daughter is upset that she will not be spending Mother’s Day with me. She can if she really wants to do that. I can drive up to her school in four hours. That is not the problem. Ambivalence: What seems to be at work here is the issue of […]
“Grad or Age-Out” and The Importance Of The Case Manager: 5-3-11
Hoping for Clarification: In the last several weeks I have had a number of conversations with moms with adult special needs children regarding what qualifies some for a residential priority placement and others not, once they reach the age when their school districts are no longer responsible for them. Keeping in mind that every state […]
Do You Have To Be Educated To Raise A Special Needs Child? 5-2-11
Excuse Me? A recurrent question thrown out over the years of raising our daughter has been, “what do people do who are not educated like you two, and have to raise a child with disabilities?” I find that question as off-putting as the equally frequent observation that “Your daughter is so lucky to have parents […]
In Transit: 5-1-11
Contact in Motion: Everyday for the last three weeks our daughter calls me. This is new. She has had a cell phone for probably four years but never has she called me with anything remotely resembling this frequency of contact. Probably ninety percent of the calls are made while in transit. She is on the […]