The Factor of TIME: Underrated and Overlooked

TIME is a most precious commodity.

Yet TIME for the couple to be together is often overlooked and undervalued, each partner rushing to do his or her best at the socially prescribed “role” of parent, employee or community volunteer.

In therapy, TIME for the couple is valued, precious, proscribed and imposed. Boundaries are firm and a couple is finally permitted to take the TIME to notice and attend to the pressing needs of the relationship.

It is easy to rationalize that one has neither the time nor the money for this “luxury.” But the price paid in not taking the TIME costs a great deal more. Divorces are expensive in dollars and pain, which lasts far longer than the time it takes for the therapy. Yet our culture chooses to deceive us in thinking that TIME for the couple is not as important as achieving and providing and can wait for the next day, someday, often the “it’s too late” day.

10 Responses to “The Factor of TIME: Underrated and Overlooked”

  1. jlsimons

    What you say is right on the money, Jill. It seems like family is the first place we steal time from, but it should be the last. One thing I found when my wife and I were in therapy was that we had a safe block of time that was always there for us and neither of us could cancel or preempt for something “more important.” Welcome to the blogosphere, Jill.

    • jilledelmanlcsw

      Hi Jeff,

      Thank you for your comment. I appreciate your feedback and am impressed by how much you felt that setting that “time” aside was helpful, in and of itself, in your couples work.

  2. bracha f.

    i am so happy for you and i know that whoever is working with you will be very pleased with their success in coupledom..

  3. Linda Francese

    Hi Jill,
    I love this blog. It is so beautifully laid out and thought out. You say so many wonderful things here that are so true. This is wonderful!

    • jilledelmanlcsw


      Thank you. I am so glad that you were able to check out the blog. Please pass it on to anyone who may be interested and enjoy it. Your words make me feel very good.

  4. cindy freedman

    well you have successfully motivated me to check out a blog. Lucky for me it is your blog i love the information

  5. lynnie tolk

    dearest jill
    one cannot express how comforting it is to have an expert put our confused emotions and feelings so easily into beautiful words and thoughts. chris and i have both reread this entry a few times now. thank you, my friend

  6. Kim Schneider

    Insight first, Change second, TIME key. Time is the easy part!


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